GENTLE ANSWERS
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)
How we respond to others in their anger is significant. This isn’t some stunning revelation; you’ve experienced this firsthand. You know that your words, tone and body language can escalate or diffuse a situation. When someone is furious, we want to respond gently, kindly and truthfully. The problem is that we sometimes forget the gentleness and kindness and push in on truth.
This is why you can be right but be wrong in how you go about it. Think about it—for once, you were in the clear. Maybe you can even document it. This argument is yours to win! It’s your time to show them how out of line they are! So, you begin to really let them have it. The facts are on your side. The truth is on your side. They must grovel and beg your forgiveness or else.
What a horrible way for a Christ follower to respond. First of all, no one wins in an argument. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when we must stand firmly for the truth. But even then, we must safeguard ourselves against devolving into a back-and-forth where both sides are predominantly concerned with scoring points off the other.
Instead of brazenly taking verbal swings at someone who is angry, what if we responded with gentleness and calmness? When one person is yelling and gesticulating wildly, and the other person refuses to match that energy, I’ve found that, more often than not, the person who is raging out will start to calm down. Do beware—telling someone to calm down will almost always have the opposite result. Instead—be gentle in your response. Composed. Measured. Commit to not antagonizing or stirring up further conflict. This may require you to humble yourself, especially if you’re objectively in the right. But it’s in these moments we must ask ourselves which we value more— being right or the relationship.
APPLICATION: How are you responding when someone comes to you with conflict, frustration, or outright aggression and anger? Ask God to show you how to live out Proverbs 15:1 in your relationships. Is there anyone you need to go back to and apologize for how you responded? Be open to this step of humility as God leads you.
PRAYER: Lord, help me respond to those around me as Your Son Jesus did. Grant me a supernatural amount of gentleness as I seek to interact with those in my life lovingly. In Jesus’ name, amen.
“… Our Father in heaven…” Matthew 6:9b (NLT)
- What do You want to say to me today as my Father?
“… may Your name be kept holy.” Matthew 6:9c (NLT)
- What do You want to reveal to me about Your power today?
“May Your Kingdom come soon.” Matthew 6:10a (NLT)
- Help me make Your priorities my priorities today.
“Give us today the food we need,” Matthew 6:11 (NLT)
- Is there anything specific You want me to do with my time or the people I’m around today?
“and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us” Matthew 6:12 (NLT)
- Reveal to me anyone I need to forgive or ask for forgiveness.
“And don’t let us yield to temptation…” Matthew 6:13a (NLT)
- Is there anywhere I’m vulnerable to temptation?